Be Mutually Accountable One to Another

by Norm Henry

We humans have an amazing ability to make really poor decisions! So what happens? What were we thinking? Actually, we probably were not thinking and definitely not taking time to pray. In unexpected moments, we sometimes react impulsively. God wants us to walk in the Spirit. Most certainly, God has given us His own holy presence to help us. But God has also given us each other.

Often we fail to avail ourselves of the grace He wants to give us through our human relationships. We are to "carry each other's burdens." Sometimes our brothers and sisters carry our burdens and sometimes we carry theirs. Carry them where?

To the Lord! We have been called into a life together. Jesus said "Where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them" (Matthew 18:20). When two hearts carry a burden together, Christ steps in and helps. But too often we try to live the Christian life individually. Perhaps out of self-protection, we fail to share with the resource God has given us-each other.

Maybe it is time to reissue Reuben Welch's classic, We Really Do Need Each Other¹, again. We really do need each other more than we like to admit. We think we should be able to carry our own load with God's help. That is true, but He uses others to help us do so. We feel falsely ashamed when admitting our need for others to help carry our burdens.

But the Christian life is meant to be a shared life. We are to rejoice together and mourn together recognizing our interdependency upon each other. Koinonia means we truly share the life of Christ with each other. So what keeps us from making ourselves accountable to each other? Fear!

Fear that what is shared in trust will not be kept in trust. Most of us can recall the pain of betrayal when something shared in private was shared in public. We must treat everyone with respectful trust. That means keeping in confidence that which was shared in confidence-especially if we want to be treated the same. Another reason hinders sharing. Not too many of us like to be "held accountable."

When feel we are being controlled or judged rather than accepted, we stop sharing. It feels unsafe to share, because it is. Christ warned us about judging. Richard Foster² helps in this sensitive area. He says "When we genuinely believe that inner transformation is God's work and not ours, we can put to rest our passion to set others straight!" We are not responsible to correct brothers and sisters who share with us. So, what is an accountability partner responsible for? It's simple-intercession. Dietrich Bonhoeffer, in Life Together³ states "A Christian fellowship lives and exists by the intercession of its members for one another, or it collapses."

The two sides of mutual accountability are confession and intercession. Confession of what? Sins, faults, struggles, needs, burdens, decisions, stresses, worries, or all of the above. Mutual confession is a spiritual discipline that opens us up to the transformational work of Christ. As the priesthood of believers we have the privilege and responsibility to lift our brothers and sisters up to Christ. Intercession means bringing them into the presence of Christ. Interceding on behalf of our friends and family is actually the most powerful way for us to influence them. God's grace flows through confession and intercession.

John Wesley understood the importance of accountability. In establishing class meetings, select societies, and penitent bands, Wesley established various levels of accountability. It was an accountability that allowed for personal spiritual growth in the context of intimate fellowship. Disciples lifted up each other to Christ and spoke "the truth in love." This included in-depth accountability for those desiring an intimate walk with Christ and focused accountability for those struggling with various issues. The leader had the courage to ask about the spiritual life. An accountability and prayer partner genuinely asks how you are doing, waits for an answer, and then prays!

Accountability is not controlling, or negative, but encouraging. Knowing that someone is praying for and with you, rather than at you, is empowering. God uses the prayers of our brothers and sisters to help us live the way we want to, like Christ.

So do you have a prayer and accountability partner? If not, you are missing out on one of the wonderful privileges and responsibilities of the Christian journey. Be one to somebody you care about.

Norm Henry is a psychologist and minister.

¹Welch, Reuben. We Really Do Need Each Other was republished as Let's Listen to Jesus. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1982. ²Foster, Richard. Celebration of Discipline. New York: Harper & Row, 1978. ³Bonhoeffer, Dietrich. Life Together. San Francisco: 1954.

Holiness Today, September/October 2007

 

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